Sportsmanship is overrated...

You make Vijay Singh make a three and a half foot putt - every single time.

That said, why can the Americans play the world like we really are the dominant country in golf, and we play Europe like a twelve year old who wants to wrestle with his older brother's buddies on the high school team?

What does it have to be like playing with Woody Austin as a teammate? I can't imagine a fate much worse...it's got to be like golfing with me.

Phil: Nice shot Woody. Even I can make a three footer. Half the time.
Woody: Oh man, I can't believe I left that ball three foot below the hole on a straight uphill putt. To put you in a situation like that is unthinkable. I wish a mountie would run up to me and have his horse crap all over me for that terrible shot.
Phil: Uh. Ok. By the way, hell of a job in the PGA Championship there. I can only imagine what it would have been like to compete in a major this year.
Woody: Can you believe the way I putted in the final round? I only made like fifteen 25 foot putts, but I missed two huge putts that could have put me over the top. I'll never have another chance to compete again. I wish a whole calvary of mounties would come over here and trample me right now to teach me a lesson for how bad I played at the PGA.
Phil: Uh. Ok. Well, we just birdied to tie these guys. Let's win this thing.
Woody: Christ, with me as your partner, you have no chance to win this thing. You might as well find an Eskimo is Saskatoon (Woody doesn't know that Eskimos don't live in Saskatoon) to give my set of clubs to if you want to win. In fact, I hope the entire Royal Canadian Mounted Police take me away to Lake Winnipeg and drown me. This will give you the best chance to win with your new eskimo friend.
Phil: Uh. Ok. By the way, dude, your shirt is f'ing ugly.
Woody: Man, that's uncalled for. Why are you always picking on me?